TIME is ALL I NEED

Please for goodness sake...

Don't add oil to the burning fire,
Don't add pinches of salt to the bleeding injuries.

It hurts. It really does.
Its weak inside. Its really weak inside.

TIME is seriously all I need.
I need TIME for the injuries to heal.
I need TIME to be stronger.
I need TIME to built up my confidence.
I need TIME to prove to to those that down on me that I am not a weakling.
I need TIME to achieve my goals.

Hidden Tears

"I have to maintain my composure!"

"NO! They must not know that i have these thoughts! I must keep it to myself!"

"So what if they know, it will not change anything!"

"Its useless! They won't care about my feelings! All they care about is my future... my future.. my future... My feelings and thoughts were never, and never will be their concern!"

"Don't cry! Please, hold back those tears! The tears that they shall never see..."

These are what I have to tell myself all the time.

The mask I am wearing to protect myself...
I cannot be myself in front of them.
I can't cry when i wanna, they'll scold me.
I can't get angry at them, they'll go all out to make me the one at fault (as though they're perfect)
I can't share my viewpoints and express myself naturally, they'll yet again go all out to say how ridiculous I am.
BUT THEY CAN.
They can throw tantrums when they are in a bad mood.
They can be cold towards me whenever they wanna.
They can share their viewpoints and express how sad/angry they are, saying how others are wrong and they are right.

I thought...
They were suppose to be the greatest support i needed to pursue and achieve my goals.
They meant it when they say they'll support me in whatever i do.
They will be keep their their promises and that, i could trust their words and have faith in them.

But...
Everything was just a big fat LIE.
Everything was just my very own naive thinking.
Everything i once believed was just a dream, a wish, a hope. They'll never come true.

What can I do...? I wonder.
Will they ever know about I felt and thought? No, I guess they'll never know about it.

All these will be hidden, they'll never get to know about them...

IT WILL BE KEPT TO MYSELF.

信任？

“谁都不要相信，只要相信自己就好...”

真的吗？

关于信任，我一直有很多疑问和不解。

在这个世界里，你到底可以相信谁呢？
当你回头发现谁都无法相信，谁都不能依赖， 你该怎么办？
在这耀眼的太阳下，没有一个人是完美的；每个人都有缺陷。
有感情才会有背叛，有爱才会有恨。

就因为这样... 到最后...

自己会
感到 无限的寂寞
不知 该恨还是该爱
想看 但也看不到原本灿烂的阳光

所以...

到底因该相信谁呢？

谁...

值得你相信？
无条件的站在你这边？
不管别人说什么，他／她还是选择相信你一个人？
不管你有什么缺点，都会选择包容它？
不管你犯过多么大的错误，终究选择原谅你？
不管你有多大的改变，依然选择爱护你？

我敢不敢

我不说 不代表我一点感觉都没有
没行动 不是因为我没有想法
我会笑 不一定是真心的
难过时 不希望被打扰，不需要别人的怜悯

热血的心 喜怒哀乐，一个都不会少
想法不少 我只是不想说而已
努力微笑 是不想要别人知道我在痛，让人担心
所有事情 我一个人来扛，自己承受

力量 谁能给 我需要的重大份量
勇敢 该怎样 才不会再害怕未来
陪伴 孤单时 能给我足够的安慰
决心 困难到达时 也不会如此容易被打倒

偏偏 失败 悲伤 困境 是我需要面对的，无法逃避
跑得再远 天涯海角 心放不下 又有什么用呢

敢不敢去冒险   我敢
愿不愿付出一切的力气   我愿意
会不会后悔   永远都不会 这就是我的强烈信念！

当安全感 是你的保护色

一旦没有了信任，安全感也会跟着消失... 一旦没有了保护色，人的心就会变得非常脆弱... 那充满热血的心，其实有一把耀眼的，正在燃烧的火花。但现在的它实在是太微弱了，所以随时都会熄灭，风只要轻轻的吹过来，它就会被吹灭。那么，要怎样才能再次得回自己所需要的力量，恢复原本所拥有的自信呢...?